


Never Have I Ever Thought This Day Would Arrive

by jaded_jane



Category: Big Time Rush (TV)
Genre: Drinking, Fluff and Humor, Future Fic, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Never Have I Ever, Night Before The Wedding, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2014-08-25
Packaged: 2018-02-14 14:26:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2195187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaded_jane/pseuds/jaded_jane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos looks down at the other three, his perch becoming more precarious as the night wears on. “Oh! I know what we could do to really loosen up. We could play Never Have I Ever! Come on. It’ll be fun!”</p><p>James and Kendall gaze over at Logan, waiting for him to shut this down. He surprises them by saying, “Sure. We’ve been apart long enough to make it interesting. Why not?”</p><p>If this friendship has survived this long, nothing can break it, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Have I Ever Thought This Day Would Arrive

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sick_Banjo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sick_Banjo/gifts).



> Written for [The BTRFicExchange](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/BTRFicExchange).
> 
> Beta'd by the awesome and wonderful suspensionofdisbelief. She was my cheerleader when everything looked bleak, as well as when it was good! Any remaining mistakes found are my own.
> 
> I also cannot forget to mention [skyline](http://archiveofourown.org/users/skyline/pseuds/skyline), who patiently answered all questions I had about the likes and dislikes of the requestor, [Dizthegirl](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Dizthegirl/pseuds/Dizthegirl).
> 
> Prompt is in the end notes.

With the night winding down, James decides to take a break from mingling and heads inside.

He smiles widely at each person he passes, genuinely pleased that so many people would fly halfway across the country. James jogs up the stairs and enters the kitchen, finding the other half of the Hollywood Super Party Kings of Hollywood raiding the freezer. “Dude, what are you looking for? Please tell me that you’re not looking for corndogs after the awesome dinner we just had? Haven’t you eaten enough?”

Carlos pulls his head back, glares at James, and flips him off as his other hand liberates a bottle of vodka. “No, dumbass, although corndogs would be great, I’m not allowed to eat them anymore to ensure I continue to fit in my costume. You, of all people should know that.” He brandishes the liquor towards James and instructs, “Go find some shot glasses, unless you don’t mind swapping spit with your best friends?”

James takes a moment to consider it before declaring, “Ehhhh. Wouldn’t be the first time; I’m sure it won’t be the last.” He steps over to the sink, peering out the small window above it. “Looks like Katie’s handling the rest of the guests and staff. How about we find the other two and shoot the shit? It’s been a while since the four of us were in the same space.”

“Six steps ahead of you, buddy,” calls a voice from the next room. “Come in here and join Kendall and me.”

“Bring glasses!” chimes in a second voice. “I don’t feel like having backwash in my vodka.”

The champagne flutes on the counter grab his attention and get a brief consideration. As much as it would amuse him to watch his friends drink from such tiny glasses, James reaches into the cabinet on his left, withdrawing four tumblers since Kendall will just bitch until he gets what he wants and the chances of finding shot glasses are slim to nil. He liberates the liquor bottle from Carlos’ grasp and steers Broadway’s newest star into the living room, saying, “I got your glasses, princess. I expect that bullshit from Dr. Mitchell, not you.”

“It’s harder to get buzzed when you constantly have to wait for the bottle to come back to you,” Kendall retorts. “Now pour that shit. I forgot how exhausting it is smile at so many people. I still don’t understand how you handle it so well, James.”

“Just think about all the pictures you’ll have to smile for tomorrow,” James taunts as he sets the glassware and the bottle on the coffee table in front of the couch before rounding it and falling into Kendall’s side as he drops down onto the sofa. “Move over. There’s barely any room for Carlos.” He lightly shoves at Kendall, who in turn pushes Logan flush against the right arm of the couch. 

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll straddle the arm. No harm, no foul; now give me some vodka!”

Carlos’ words set off the opposite chain reaction and it takes a moment for the three mostly grown men to situate themselves semi-comfortably. Even still, James ends up leaning heavily on Kendall due to the shortage of space.

James grabs and lines up the tumblers in a neat row along the edge of the wooden coffee table. “Now I’m not the fucking bartender, so you’ll get what I give you.” He unscrews the cap from the bottle and pours an inch of liquor in each glass. He hears grumbling from both sides and repeats, “You’ll get what I give you. Either drink it or don’t, I don’t care.”

He hands off the first glass to Carlos, who immediately downs it. “Man, that shit is smooth.” His hands go reaching for the bottle in James’ grasp, only to be batted away by Logan.

“You are not allowed to get rip-roaring drunk. I will not be carting your ass around all day tomorrow, and I will not have Camille up my ass because of you. Got it?” Logan wags a finger in Carlos’ direction for good measure.

Carlos rolls his eyes, but acquiesces. “Yes. You want to bottom on your own terms.”

Noises of outrage fall from Logan’s lips. “At least _I_ didn’t panic when I had my first wet dream.”

Kendall clears his throat before the two ends of the couch decide to throw down. “How about the rest of us get some of that vodka? I’m feeling a bit parched.” He takes matters into his own hands by passing a glass Logan, nudging James to pick up his own, and deftly changes the subject, while clinking his glass against James’. “When do you think the last time it was that we sat on this couch?”

Logan snorts as he sips at his vodka. “I sit on it nearly every day. It was nice of your mom to give me this couch. It’s much less blinding than the orange monstrosity from the Palm Woods.”

“You know what I mean, dumbass.”

The room goes quiet for a few seconds as each tries to recall faraway memories while imbibing on memory repressors. “For most of us, it was when we were unexpectedly fired,” Kendall finally admits. “I think.”

“So, it would have to be the day our lives changed, right?” James asks. “If I remember right, we got our asses handed back to us by the girls field hockey team. Are they coming tomorrow?” James shudders at that thought. “We might need to beef up security. Gotta protect The Face.”

“James, this is Minnesota. You will be perfectly fine.” It’s Kendall’s turn to grab the bottle and James lets it go willingly. Kendall takes a solid hit off the bottle prior to pouring more liquor into his glass. “Anyone else looking for more? How about you, Dr. Mitchell?”

“I’m not a full-fledged doctor yet, Kendall. I’m just a resident. And I’m good, thank you. Between the after-dinner champagne toasts and this right here, I’m feeling plenty relaxed. Which is good, because I start my oncology rotation next week and it will be quite a while before I loosen up again.”

Carlos looks down at the other three, his perch becoming more precarious as the night wears on. “Oh! I know what we could do to really loosen up. We could play Never Have I Ever! Come on. It’ll be fun!”

James and Kendall gaze over at Logan, waiting for him to shut this down. He surprises them by saying, “Sure. We’ve been apart long enough to make it interesting. Why not?”

Understanding that this could lead to some uncomfortable revelations, James tries to put the kibosh on it. “How about we finish catching up first? So Mr. Broadway, how are things going with the musical?”

The sound of high heels click-clacking across the kitchen’s linoleum floor draws the attention of the living room’s occupants. Their heads turn towards the doorway, waiting to see who’s coming.

It doesn’t take long for Katie to appear. “Camille and I are taking Jo to the hotel. Don’t worry; we’ll be back long before everyone starts arriving tomorrow. Everything’s been cleaned up and everyone paid. Thanks again for letting us borrow your house this evening, Logan.” Katie turns, heading for the back door, the clatter of her footfalls growing fainter by the second. “Have a good night, Kendall; it’ll be your last taste of freedom so make it memorable, but not too memorable,” she teases as she swings the door shut.

James snickers.

“Don’t start,” Kendall warns James as he swiftly stands. “You know how I feel about it.” He moves the bottle to the floor, and carefully steps over the coffee table, making his way out into the hall.

James, in the meantime, rights himself after almost falling face first into Logan’s lap when Kendall departed from the sofa. “Rude,” he mutters under his breath.

Carlos looks indignant. “Where the hell are you going? We haven’t even gotten to the game yet. Come back, Kendall!”

Kendall’s voice intertwines with the sound of splashing when he responds, “I’m taking a piss, Carlos! Calm the fuck down already and let me wash my hands in peace!”

“You broke the seal. Have fun making return trips to the bathroom all night long,” yells Logan. “Hey Kendall, grab some-”

Kendall’s fast return stuns Logan silent. “Got ‘em. Since we need to be awake and hangover-free by noon, it’d be best if we start now and keep the amounts we drink on the low side.” He tosses the small stack of plastic cups he’d stolen from the hall closet towards the young doctor hoping Logan will bungle them. 

He’s disappointed.

Logan snatches the cups from the air, grinning in triumph. “Alcohol keeps my over thinking at bay.”

That reminds James of what he was attempting to do before Katie dashed in and out, and thereby distracting him from his plan. “Guys, we still need to catch up. So Carlos, that musical. How is it going again?”

It’s Kendall’s turn to make noises, these being in the key of frustration. “You’re in the middle of recording your third studio album in L.A.; Logan’s studying his ass off and practicing medicine on actual people here in Minnesota; Carlos is singing and dancing his heart out on the Broadway stage, loving every minute of it; and, as you know, I’m currently in the off-season for the Maple Leafs, which is why we’re doing this now.”

He hops onto the coffee table, does a little butt wiggle in James’ face, and falls back onto the couch, forcing James into Logan’s space.

James shoots Logan an apologetic smile and receives a shrug in return before being handed a new cup. “Take one, pass them down.”

James does what he’s told, no longer fighting the inevitable. He stares at the floor. If this friendship has survived this long, nothing can break it, right?

James snaps back to reality as Kendall outlines the rules. “If you drink, you have to explain why. If you make a statement and no one drinks, then you have to drink. Any questions?” 

“Only one. Can we start now?!” pleads Carlos. 

“You forgot to say the guy who drank the least amount by the end is the winner,” adds James.

“I also didn’t say that you have to drink if you have done something.” Kendall smirks. “Let the game begin,” he proclaims as he pours the remaining vodka out amongst them.

“Hold up,” Logan interjects, “Carlos is leaning too much for his own good right now. He and I will sit on the floor on the other side of the coffee table.” He stands and glares over the top of James’ and Kendall’s heads until Carlos climbs down off the sofa’s arm, pouting as he goes.

Logan waits until Carlos is safely seated in front of the coffee table across from Kendall, and then wanders out of the room. He’s back before the others can voice their disapproval, champagne bottle in one hand and pen and paper in the other. “Look what I found; it’s mostly full, too,” he says as he lowers himself onto the floor to the left of Carlos. “I brought straws to draw to see who goes first.”

Logan pulls them from his pocket, holding them tightly in his fist, which he places over the center of the coffee table. “In honor of tomorrow, Kendall should pick first.”

“Hey!” cries James. “I’m just as much of a part-”

Logan shuts James’ argument down quickly. “You can pick next and Carlos will pick last.”

“Hey!”

James can see Logan’s mellow mood slipping further away as each second passes. He pulls his straw, quipping, “Never have I ever thought this would take so long.”

Logan spares him a smile, reaching for his cup. “I knew it would,” he claims prior to taking a gulp of his vodka. “And since James just started this game, we’ll continue in a clockwise circle. Kendall, you’re next.” Ever the stickler for rules, Logan makes a small line under his name on the pad to show that he indeed ‘had ever’.

The straws rain down on the coffee table, no longer needed and therefore forgotten.

“Well…” Kendall taps at his lips with his index finger while appearing to think of a good statement. In the end, comes up with, “Never have I ever…bought five hundred dollar sneakers.”

James narrows his eyes at Logan. “I still can’t believe that we lost out on three thousand dollars because of you.”

“You coerced me into taking them for a joyride, or joywalk in this case. If anyone’s to blame, it’s you. So shut up and take your drink.” Logan sips at his vodka again, marking another affirmative for himself and one for James. He can feel Carlos vibrating with excitement beside him so he says, “Spit it out already!”

“Never have I ever bombed the MCATs,” he crows.

Logan scowls in his direction as his column gets another mark. “Not only did you get lucky that day, Carlos, but payback’s a bitch,” he reminds Carlos before slamming back the rest of his vodka. Logan grabs the champagne bottle and refills his cup back to where he started with the vodka. “Never have I ever chased a cow around the streets of L.A..”

“Couldn’t leave me out of this could you, Logan?” James complains and drinks. “You know she got loose. I pulled a respectable C for that project.” He briefly entertains the notion of naming something else only Logan has done, but decides that if he wants tomorrow to go well, it’s time to move on. “Never have I ever participated in speed dating.”

“I was just trying to find a girlfriend,” Carlos grumbles. “Who knew that relationships are so tough?”

“Me,” volunteers Logan, who’s once again updating the scoreboard. “My life is so much simpler without a significant other. Of course, crazy hours at the hospital and endless hours of studying don’t help much.” He studies the pad in front of him, squinting through the slight haze that’s developed from the alcohol before he chucks it over his shoulder. “We know Kendall’s gonna win this. We’re on the honor system from now on.”

Another round goes by, statements start out slightly less pointed than the previous set- never have I ever gone on a cross-country drive (“My job has me traveling from city to city to play against other teams, James. It’s not really the recreational thing you were describing. And we fly a lot. Take a swig.”), but don’t stay that way for long- never have I ever hosted a wedding rehearsal dinner (“Low blow, Knight.”), never have I ever been brought back to life by a mermaid (“She wasn’t a real mermaid, Carlos.” “But you thought she was; drink up!”), and never have I ever had to wear my mother’s pants (“Yeah yeah, liar liar pants on fire.”).

James swipes the champagne bottle from Logan’s side, fills his cup to the appropriate spot, topping off the cups of the others, and dropping it to the floor between him and Kendall. He lifts his eyes up to Logan, grateful that the other man seems to be bordering on tipsy and paid no attention to where the bottle ended up. James opens his mouth to begin his turn only to be interrupted.

“Gotta go!” Kendall shouts as he jumps up and dashes from the room. The sounds from the bathroom are curiously unfiltered and it takes a few seconds for James to realize that Kendall left the bathroom door open. Another thirty are taken for flushing and washing his hands based off of the noises and then Kendall reappears.

“I warned you, dude.”

“Shut up, Logan. Or next time, I _won’t_ wash my hands.”

Logan shivers but otherwise says nothing.

“Never have I ever bottomed.” James starts at the words. They aren’t what he was intending to say. “I mean-”

Kendall, who had been carefully navigating his way around a wobbly Carlos and the coffee table back to the couch, freezes two feet from his intended destination when James started speaking. “Um-” he babbles.

Logan shrugs and picks up his cup. “We both know that I have,” he says to James prior to taking a sip of his champagne.

Logan’s nonchalance breaks Kendall from his stupor. He seizes his cup after a few steps, takes a healthy chug, and offers up, “No comment”, falling back onto the sofa and just about landing in James’ lap.

Logan’s cackle fills the room. “I don’t need a demonstration. But maybe Carlos does,” he manages to get out between laughs.

James can feel the tension building in Kendall’s body. His muscles are tightening, and then it’s gone. 

“Never have I ever had sex in a car.”

Logan stops mid-guffaw, his mouth hanging open. “Never?” he asks, unconvinced that Kendall hasn’t ever had sex in a vehicle. His stare ping-pongs between Kendall and James, willing James to call bullshit and failing, and repeats, “Never?”

Kendall grins. “What can I say? Not all of us had to sneak around and use the BTR-mobile as a place to get our rocks off. Plus being on the taller side makes it harder.”

James and Logan each swallow more champagne. “Didn’t seem to be a problem for James,” Logan asserts. “He could move around the backseat very well. Or at least he used to. I had no complaints. No, I take that back. I did a lot of complaining when he would stop.”

James stays mum on the subject.

“Being taller makes you harder, Kendall?” inquires Carlos, a sly smile overtaking his face. “Is it the same for you, James?”

“Hardy har har. I believe it’s your turn, Carlos. Either put up or shut up.” James would prefer the second option, and sleep will be a necessity soon and things are starting to go downhill, except Carlos is blurting out his next declaration.

“Never have I ever received a facial.”

“It was one time! And it was an accident, Carlos! That’s what you told me!”

James feels his eyes grow wide and when he looks across the table at Logan, the same wide-eyed shocked look is plastered on his face too. As if by design, the two turn their heads simultaneously to gape at the guys sitting next to them.

“Joke’s on you, Kendall; I did it on purpose. You always looked so good with my cum in the corners of your mouth, I wanted to know what you’d look like with it all over your face. And man, was it a beautiful sight.” Carlos sighs. “Too bad I’ll never see it again. Think your fiancé would be up for a threesome?” He waits half a beat then shakes his head. “Whoa. That was a bad idea.”

“I’ll say,” murmurs James. He turns back to Logan, catching his eye and mouthing, “Help me.”

Logan subtly nods, and calls out, “Never have I ever tasted my own ejaculate.”

It’s Kendall’s turn to stare in disbelief after guzzling down the rest of his champagne to make up for having done both things. “You, the resident genius, has never tasted your own cum? I would’ve thought you had that shit down your throat in the name of science.” 

“Oh, I did. I was just curious to see who else had.” He takes a swig of his dwindling liquor. “I used to come on James’ abs and lick it off,” he says matter-of-factly. “You know, back in those days when I had to go into the BTR-mobile to get my rocks off with James and couldn’t leave evidence behind. What’s your story, Kendall?”

Kendall gazes back at an unsteady Carlos, who appears to be a little worse for the wear. He seems to hesitate before launching into his tale. “Carlos came to stay at my place the night Sparky died. Being at home without him was making Carlos depressed, so he came over to play video games and spend the night. At about 5 o’clock in the morning, I woke up because of some strange sounds. I leaned over the bed, and there’s Carlos on the floor, freaking the fuck out. Turns out, he had had his first wet dream and didn’t know what the mess his pants was.”

“We know this already!” Logan scolds him. “Get to the good part.”

“So I calmed him down and explained everything to the best of my ability, and he still didn’t believe me! I decided the only way to prove that he wasn’t dying, as he kept tearfully saying he was, was to jack off and show him the end result. I turned my back to him just to have a little bit of privacy and he claimed I was trying to trick him. So I turned again to face him. End result is I came in my hand and Carlos got to inspect it.”

“And since I figured out I wasn’t dying, I took a finger full wanting to know what it tasted like,” pipes up Carlos’ voice from the floor. “Then I stuck my hand in my pants and tasted my own. Once I did that, I pestered Kendall until he tasted his too. Mine was better.”

Logan glances over at Carlos’ prone form. “When did you lie down? And better yet, why didn’t I see you?”

“I drank the last of my alcohol and felt sleepy, so I laid down. You were busy yelling at Kendall about knowing my most mortifying moment. Thanks, by the way. Nothing like being reminded that your three best friends know almost everything about you. Good or bad.”

James takes a quick survey of the cups still left on the table, noticing that his is the only one that still contains any liquid. “Well guys, I say we call it a night. It’s almost midnight and I don’t want to be hung over tomorrow. The pictures will be awful.”

Before James can move, Logan grabs the leftover champagne from between Kendall and James and the mostly empty cups and unneeded straws lingering on the table, and deposits them in his kitchen. He returns with aspirin and four water bottles. “Take two pills and drink all of your water. You’ll thank me in the morning.”

Carlos groans as he makes his way into a sitting position. “Is the game over? Who won?”

Just as Logan opens his mouth, Kendall cuts him off. What he says, however, is unexpected. “I actually have one more. I suppose if you want to drink you can, we all have water, but it’s not necessary. Never have I ever proposed.”

Carlos takes this as an invitation to suck down the rest of his water, pills being long gone, and throwing his empty water bottle in direction of the kitchen. “Wait. What?”

Logan gawks at the couple across from them. “What he said. I thought that was the whole reason why we’re gathered here. You’re getting married in the backyard of your childhood home, Kendall. Tomorrow. We had the rehearsal dinner here tonight,” Logan’s voice pitching higher as he goes on. “It is _not_ the Day of Pranks. Are you getting cold feet? How could you do that to-”

Kendall cuts him off. “I’m not doing anything to anybody. Except maybe, properly proposing to James.”

James can feel himself grinning widely around the mouth of the water bottle as he drinks the remaining liquid. He follows Carlos’ example and flings the bottle into the kitchen. He then swivels in his seat to face Kendall. “I already said yes.”

“I know,” Kendall concedes, “but saying ‘Let’s get married’ isn’t romantic.” He carefully slides off the couch and onto one knee in front of James. “You and I have chased skunks, girls (and some boys), and our dreams together. That Pop Tiger boyfriend test showed me what I had been looking for all along and not realizing it. We have been by each others’ side for all the big decisions and this is the biggest one of all. James Diamond, would you do me the honor of marrying me in front of our friends and family in my former backyard tomorrow and becoming my husband?”

“I’ll say it again, Kendall. Yes.” James jumps to his feet, yanking Kendall with him. A meeting of the lips soon turns into a meeting of the tongues. So engrossed are they that the clock striking midnight doesn’t even register.

“I guess Kendall did win,” Logan mumbles to Carlos. “Okay, Kendall, say goodnight to James. You’ll see him tomorrow,” declares Logan once he swallows his aspirin and water. He stands and grabs Kendall’s arm, starting to drag him toward the stairs and the master bedroom after Kendall finishes with his water.

“But-”

Logan stops them at the foot of the staircase. “I am your best man. It is my job to make sure that things go smoothly. You wanted this, remember? You said you wanted to follow tradition and spend the night before the wedding away from James. If anything, it will make Jo’s job easier; she won’t have to cover up hickeys before taking photos.” He looks back towards James assisting Carlos to his feet. “The guestroom is all ready for you guys. I set the alarm, so please don’t hit the snooze button repeatedly.”

James glances up, locking eyes with Kendall. “I won’t. I’m really excited for tomorrow. Can’t wait to marry the love of my life. Goodnight, Kendall; I love you.”

Kendall is being tugged up the stairs, and calls out, “I love you too, James. Goodnight,” before disappearing out of sight.

James gets Carlos to the bedroom on the first floor, strips him down, and tucks him into bed, nearly unaided by the other man who falls asleep the moment his head hits the pillow. James undresses and sets about doing his nightly ritual in the downstairs half bath. 

As he’s finishing up, he looks at his reflection and smiles broadly. “Tomorrow I’m going to be Mr. James Diamond-Knight,” he whispers to it. “And it’s going to be the greatest day of my life.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Dizthegirl](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Dizthegirl/pseuds/Dizthegirl)'s prompt: I want fic in which all four of the boys go through phases of relationships with each other, middle school-age on up (aka they sex each other up in various ways starting in their formative years and graduating into mid-20s). Like Kendall and Carlos experiment in middle school, James and Logan have a hot high school fling, end-game Kendall and James because they're obviously soul mates. Logan and Carlos realize they're entirely too terrible at relationships to, well...be in a relationship. All of it wrapped up neatly between hockey, superstardom, and hi-jinks, please.
> 
> I dropped the last sentence, unless you count Never Have I Ever as hijinks, and I totally do.


End file.
